If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
