I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
