Sponge bath it is.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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