Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
