I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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