i think i have herpe
just one?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
