There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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