My friends, they love my intelligence
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
whose ass print is on the piano?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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