he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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