just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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