so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
