he thought i was a dude.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
