I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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