i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
