Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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