Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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