how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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