I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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