you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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