i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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