This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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