ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
