i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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