normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
