ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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