you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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