I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize