Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
