Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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