College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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