The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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