I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
