Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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