I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
