it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize