idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize