I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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