I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
