Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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