something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
