Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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