His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
