Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I supernannyed him into submission
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
