i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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