If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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