Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
