I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
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just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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