he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
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We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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