**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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