Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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