dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Never joke about your clitoris.
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