I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
