well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
