I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I party with great urgency now.
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