Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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